Otome Reviews

SLBP: “Falling for You, Always and Forever” Event Mitsuhide+Saizo+Kojuro Review [SPOILERS]

Hello, friends! Do you feel like you don’t have enough stress in your lives? Want to add a crap ton more? Well then… these event routes will definitely do the job!

“I could make my little lady into quite the fine little ninja, you know.” 

This is how Saizo’s route begins: …after pulling back for a moment, [Saizo] plunges into me even more deeply. “I’ll give you something even better.” …Anyways. Interesting moments between Saizo and MC aside, the meat of this route focuses on revenge: Akane, a lady ninja in town/maid-in-disguise, is hell bent on finding – and killing – the man who murdered her first love. Hint: it’s Saizo. He doesn’t really take her threats all too seriously, until MC gets pulled in (“I wonder if you would still be able to look at me this way if I killed MC?”). Shaken, he breaks up with MC, harshly (“The world you and I live in will never be the same. Just deal with it and move on”). And then offers himself up to Akane on a platter, in exchange for MC’s and Yukimura’s safety. Needless to say, Akane and her merry band of ninjas are all too happy to oblige…

Have I mentioned just how stressful some of these event routes are, yet?! This route…yikes. There’s a ton of blood. The blood is Saizo’s. And then there’s this: “…Thanks…little…lady…” The smile turns gentle, one last time, that smile that was just for us. So…yeah. In any case, this was definitely my favorite of the three or four Saizo ES’s I’ve come across thus far. The plot and tension are great. Saizo and MC share some awesome moments together. Akane’s a strong and interesting character (although ninja poofing is OP and SLPB needs to nerf it). And finally, for once, Saizo’s angst makes some amount of sense, and he comes across as broken yet lovable. TL;DR this route is good!

Personal enjoyment: 8/10. minus points for blood 😂

“I know you told me that you are in love with someone else, but if he is that someone else, I will die before I see you with him.”

Next up, we have Kojuro. His route’s a little different from everyone else’s in that instead of him being the one who pulls away from MC, it’s the other way around. The reason? While protecting MC from a post-battle ambush, Kojuro isn’t able to stop Masamune from getting shot (non-fatally) by a sniper. He’s wracked with angsty guilt, and MC, in a misguided attempt to prevent future similar incidents, decides the best course of action… is to break up with him. She makes up all sorts of grievances about his living habits, and even claims that she’s in love with someone else. But Kojuro doesn’t buy any of it (“I cannot part from you when you are not yourself”). Heartbroken but resolute, he, Masamune, and Shigezane head off to a battle, which they win with some clever strategizing and misdirection. In the meanwhile, Kojuro saves MC from generic brown-haired villain #3234, and they reunite (“MC…will you be my precious girl again?”).

So Kojuro was flawlessly amazing, as he usually is, in this route. And I enjoyed all the lovely second leads (hi Shigezane). But I had a lot of trouble following MC’s rationale – for starters, I’m not sure why that final battle suddenly changed MC’s mind about being with Kojuro? In any case, I’m generally not too fond of routes that feature that brown haired guy who always turns out to be evil. It’s such a spoiler, haha.

Personal enjoyment: 5/10.

“From today, I give half of my life to Lord Nobunaga…and half of my life to you.”

Last but not least… MITSUHIDE. Oh my GOD. Guy really reveals just how little sense of self preservation he has in this route. Long story short, the Oda clan is being attacked in two locations. To buy time for Nobunaga to defeat one side, Mitsuhide volunteers to defend the other location with his retainers for as long as possible, stalling for time. It’s a suicide mission: they all plan to commit seppuku before the enemy storms the castle to deny the enemy the glory…

IMHO, the plot was decent enough. But the writing and the little details were really elevated things! Some highlights:

The slap heard round the world. Followed by MC really letting M have it.
~~Mitsuhide’s side piece~~ Nobunaga really letting him have it (“MOVE! Where in all the HELLS are you, you witless coward?! You still refuse to face me, Mitsuhide?”)
M’s seppuku sleepwear </3
The loyalty of his retainers
That moment when the last bullet is fired, and they’re out of ammo

By the way. In terms of stress levels, this one’s off the charts. But it’s definitely worth it!

Personal enjoyment: 9/10

SLBP: Sasuke Sarutobi Light Ending Route Review [SPOILERS]

“I want to see a united world, with you. Stay with me, forever.”

You have no idea how freaking excited I was when Sasuke’s route was released. Kickass MC? Handsome Robin-Hood-esque ninja who takes after his distractingly handsome boss Shingen? Sign me the eff up! …Right? Well…

Let’s rewind a bit. Ninja!MC is a member of the Mitsuba’s, a small band of ninjas on the run from their former amoral ninja town. She’s also ~~The Chosen One~~ the last remaining person in her clan capable of creating a secret panacea that all the warlords and their impossibly good-looking ninja bros are after. So when her village is attacked and doubts concerning Nobunaga (their current employer) and his willingness/ability to protect arise, the task of finding a potential new warlord to serve falls to none other than MC. No pressure.

Enter Sasuke, an affable and kindly ninja who MC’s been pining after ever since he rescued her when she was a child. Sasuke’s on a headhunting mission for MC on behalf of his employer, Shingen. MC and Shingen both decide on a bit of a trial run (there’s no reason for sex-on-legs to trust MC and vice versa, after all), and MC’s new life begins. She spends her days learning medicine under Kansuke (<3), hanging out with kid!Sasuke (adult!Sasuke’s adopted son), and, when the rare opportunity presents itself, getting to know the love interest himself. MC learns that Sasuke, unlike other ninjas, is generally happy to interact with/help out the plebes, but he also happens to be obsessively devoted to Shingen (“For him and only him I will be a shadow”).

At some point, MC, Sasuke Jr, and Sasuke Sr are all tasked with living incognito as a fake family in a village on Ieyasu’s turf, to gather information (“Be my woman, MC”). For a brief period of time, MC revels in living out her childhood fantasies (or at least, pretending to). But everything changes when MC and Sasuke are kidnapped by the stupidly pretty (if kinda shady looking) “Hattori Hanzo.” In short, MC’s getting force-recruited into the Tokugawa clan. Sasuke tells MC that their only chance of escape is to kill Ieyasu…which turns out to be patently false, since Sasuke literally *punches out a wall* to gtfo…! But in any case, pacifist MC doesn’t want to become a murderer, and Sasuke gets unreasonably pissy about it. Even though killing Ieyasu wasn’t even part of his orders (he just wanted to make Shingen’s life easier…)

Our two leads eventually kind of patch things up after returning to Kai, but new problems arise when the castle learns that Nobunaga and his army’s on the march, and Shingen falls ill. Sasuke gets all pissy at MC again (“If you’d killed Ieyasu back then…none of this would’ve happened”). Meanwhile MC’s been slaving away day and night to make a healing elixir for Shingen. And when homegirl finally pulls it off? Sasuke’s super shitty. Again (“You’re using the medicine as a bargaining point with the Takeda, aren’t you?”). Ugh.

In any case, the war problem kind of solves itself when Sasuke decides to suicidally run into battle, as *Shingen’s body double* (!!). But don’t worry, this story has a happy ending. MC saves the day while also simultaneously ruining it (long story), MC and Sasuke have some lovey dovey moments back in Shingen’s castle, the Mitsubas are welcomed into the Takeda clan, and they all live together happily ever after. Until Shingen’s main route happens, presumably.

So in case it wasn’t supremely obvious: no, I wasn’t a fan of ~~Walmart Shingen~~ Sasuke. I can’t forgive his assholery after the whole Ieyasu thing. The dumbest part is, the Ieyasu he’d wanted her to kill was a body double anyways, so his murder would’ve been useless! And don’t even get me started on the romance in this route. It really came out of nowhere in the final episode or two. So, TL;DR, Sasuke has his great moments, for sure (see: stint as Shingen’s body double) but overall, he’s just an old and cold bastard who doesn’t deserve MC.

…at least he’s pretty.

Personality: 3/10. Sasuke starts out super strong as a romantic candidate, but his suicidal angstiness and general assholery fix that notion super fast.

Appearance: 8/10. Look. This guy is a body double for Shingen. He’s not gonna be ugly. His hair, however, only looks good when in a ponytail ~~where I don’t have to look at it~~.

MC: 5/10. MC has a lot of promise, especially with that amazing backstory. But I can’t believe she took all that turd Sasuke flung at her lying down! I know, I know. She has to; it’s his route, after all. But I can still judge.

Plot/Payoff: 7/10. Okay, the romance sucked. But for all the flaws in this route, the plot was decent enough. I appreciated how the route didn’t necessarily end with everything all sunshine and roses…esp. because we all know how this whole story plays out IRL…

Personal enjoyment: 3/10. …I liked the Shingen/Kansuke cameos?

Masterlist

Irresistible Mistakes – Shunichiro Tachibana Review [SPOILERS]

“I hope that tonight…I was able to show you at least a little of how I feel.”

Shunichiro, the love interest currently available for free on Love365 until *tomorrow*, is billed as a “debonair scoundrel.” But is he really?

Let’s start from the beginning. This is a modern day Japanese love story. MC, an advertising copywriter (?), gets drunk at a corporate event and comes on to Shunichiro, a brilliant advertising director who she’s admired professionally for years. The next day, S gathers together a team of top employees to make a commercial that’ll be used in a competition to win a contracting bid for the Olympics…and MC’s on said team. Awkward. Fortunately, S is pretty nice about it. MC is a talented ideator, and he’s super professional at work.

After hours, on the other hand…that one night stand becomes something like a three or four night stand, as time goes by. MC’s prior professional admiration for boss definitely turns into something more awkwardly romantic. And to make things worse, rumors abound that Shunichiro’s engaged. Which isn’t quite true – he’s talked a few times with a matchmaking candidate, for the sake of his career, and nothing’s set in stone – but…still. Ick. To top it all off, Shunichiro shows no signs of wanting any sort of meaningful LTR (“I’m too old to get excited about falling in love”). Needless to say, MC’s torn about the whole thing.

Things come to a head when Shunichiro’s personal and professional lives intersect. That matchmaking candidate he’s been meeting with? She’s the daughter of the corrupt governor…who was all ready to hand the ad contract over to the government’s go-to company, until he met S and strong-armed him into meeting her daughter. With this new revelation, MC breaks things off with Shunichiro for the sake of everyone involved (“We can’t lose this account…you said so yourself”).

But this is a love story, and it becomes super obvious that Shunichiro’s caught feels for MC as well. And at the end of the day, he’s not the type of guy to use shady personal deals for professional gain. So he breaks things off with the governor’s daughter (in front of his entire team, no less!), the hardworking team wins the contract despite the governor’s Lucius Malfoy-esque tactics, and MC and Shunichiro live happily ever after.

…Maybe. So, I dunno, maybe things are different in Japan, but this entire route felt like a giant, glaring HR nightmare to my jaded eyes. Shunichiro, for all his purported “scoundrel”-ness, definitely came across as a good guy, but that boss situation really shouldn’t have ever happened. That said, the job-related aspects of this route were actually super fantastic. S clearly inspires MC on a professional level (“When I look at you, it’s like I’m looking at a younger version of myself”). They iterate on commercial concepts and solve budget crises together like total champs. And when MC breaks things off, their teamwork skills don’t take a hit at all. It’s impressive.

And to be fair, on a more romantic level, I totally understand MC’s attraction to Shunichiro. He’s brilliant, focused, and kind. So, I get it. As far as boss/employee fantasies go, S’s route is pretty great. Just… a terrible template for IRL shenanigans! Haha.

Choice quotes
“When I look at you, it’s like I’m looking at a younger version of myself.” 
“Could you not use her for your fun?” “I was never using her for fun. I don’t play around at work…and I’m not playing around with MC.”

Personality: 6/10. Shunichiro is totally amazing to MC, both professionally and personally, but tbh, he did the governor’s daughter wrong. Although he never committed to anything and they never even dated, I still couldn’t help feeling really bad for her by the end of the route.

Appearance: 4/10 normally, 9/10 CG’s. The difference is like night and day.

MC: 10/10. MC was super relatable. Poor girl wasn’t cut out for a casual relationship, still gave it a shot, and pulled away when she needed to. Props.

Plot/Payoff: 6/10. A+++ career side plot, and the pacing of the romance as great. But side note, I wanted to punch MC’s sexist asshole childhood friend Natsume in the face. I hope he never becomes a route.

Personal enjoyment: 7/10. I had a lot of problems with the HR-violating aspect of this route, but the execution was solid and it was an enjoyable, smutty read!

Masterlist

SLBP: “Falling for You, Always and Forever” Event Nobunaga+Masamune+Yukimura Review [SPOILERS]

Okay, friends. Take the most dramatic kdrama you know. Shorten it and change its setting to feudal Japan. Congratulations, you’ve created SLBP’s latest event in a nutshell. Seriously though, between all the angsty forced separations and second lead syndrome, I don’t really know how else to describe this event…!

“It’s too dangerous for us to be seen in Kyoto right now.” “…Says the one who marched right into the city screaming for me.” “…Want me to kill you first?” 

Nobunaga’s route is one heck of an emotional roller coaster. Long story short, Buddhist monks have been levying road tolls and such in the area, threatening N’s power. N invites some monks over to his castle to negotiate, but it’s all a front to provoke them into a fight before cutting them down. Among the casualties: a Yahiko lookalike who N had wanted to spare. MC’s naturally kind of traumatized. Nobunaga doesn’t want MC to have to witness the other atrocities he must commit in the name of unification (tl;dr monastary burning), so he tells MC to “go home to Kyoto,” and escorts her personally. MC and Nobunaga proceed to have the most drawn-out and angsty parting sequence ever, featuring, among other things, a meddling Hideyoshi, MC writing down all of N’s favorite recipes Ignis style, and N bowing to MC’s mom (!!) (“I am only losing her because I am not worthy of her”). But after a brief separation, Nobunaga realizes that he can’t live without MC, and they kiss dramatically in the rain like Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling in that one movie before reaffirming their love for one another again. Aww.

So I actually really enjoyed Nobunaga’s portrayal here, probably because he kept his more psycopathic rapey tendencies on the down-low without getting out of character. For all the horrible things he had to do in this route, he was surprisingly romantic with MC. Also, MC was a total snarky blast, and really kept up with N (maybe SLBP and IkeSen’s writers temporarily swapped?).

Personal enjoyment: 8/10. If only MS Nobunaga were more like this one.

“Given the chance to do everything again…I still fell in love with you.” 

Masamune’s route features AMNESIA. One of my favorite kdrama tropes! TL;DR, after getting attacked while out in town with MC, Masamune forgets everything involving MC, for plot reasons. ~~McDreamy~~ Doctor Douzan, a famous doctor who happens to be in town, warns his retainers against forcing M’s memories back prematurely. So MC’s forced to resume her page duties, while watching Masamune revert to his former cold and shitty self. Some highlights during his period of amnesia include:

Masamune yelling at MC when she walks in on him sans eyepatch. And then getting upset because MC’s upset. And then apologizing cutely the following day after being instructed by Kojuro.
(After hearing some mean gossip) “Do not let fools bother you.” Lord Kojuro’s brows furrow as he gently brushes my hair back in place. “He’s right, doll. The words of people like that don’t deserve to be heard by your ears.” (Shigezane) ❤ ❤ ❤
Kojuro and Shigezane unsubtly ditching M and MC in town so that the awkward turtle couple can hang out together.
M turning down an offer of engagement to his uncle’s family, for reasons he cannot fathom. And then informing MC, “because [he] wanted to.”
M defending MC against attacking ninjas again, before Kojuro and Shigezane also step in to save the day!

In the end, we learn that Masamune’s marriage-minded uncle was behind all the attacks, that were targeted towards MC. M gets all his memories back, and he and MC proceed to share the cutest scene ever on the cliffs overlooking the town (“I want to make sure that I bury all your sad memories in glad ones”)!

So I thought this route was unequivocally amazing, esp. because none of the angsty happenings were M’s fault, but can we please discuss how unfairly sexy the Oshu triumvirate is?! Masamune, Kojuro, Shigezane… all of them really shined in this route. ❤

Personal enjoyment: 10/10.

“MC. Release me from our vows.”

A tale of two idiots: Yukimura’s route features a stiff competition between MC and Y to decide who can be the worse communicator. The night Y’s put in charge of an important military expedition, MC gets hit by a needle out of nowhere. But instead of panicking to everyone around her like a normal person, she keeps silent, for some bizarre and stupid reason. News flash: it was poison. Surprise! The culprit? Kotarou, a krazy ninja who’s determined to take out MC to demoralize Yuki (not that Y needs any more demoralization, since his army gets wrecked by Nobunaga and his guns…). At some point, the dude fights Y and MC on the rooftop before dramatically flinging her off the rooftop. Fearing for MC’s safety (I think…?), Yuki pushes MC away, telling her to go back to Kyoto. MC agrees, because she thinks she’s a burden to him. They angst. A lot. And then they part, for all of about half an hour before Kotarou attacks MC again, and Y arrives to save the day.

This may have been Yuki’s route in name, but in reality, it was Saizo’s route. Homeboy was the one who ID’d the poison. And the one who hunted down the cure. And caught MC in his ~~strong, sexy, muscular~~ arms after the whole rooftop thing. And discovered that MC was still in danger. And Yukimura? Yeah, he just flailed around like a useless angsty chicken, for the most part. I mean, there were cute moments, such as when MC and Y holding hands like middle schoolers at the start of the route. But the highlight was probably Saizo calling Yuki out on his shyness despite having banged MC countless times (“What, been away from her so long you got your virginity back, dear?”).

Personal enjoyment: 3/10. It’s not a 1, because Saizo’s super sexy here. And the plot, for all its wtf-ness, was fairly coherent.

TL;DR Masamune > Nobunaga >>> Yukimura, imho!

Kiss of Revenge: Issei Sezaki Route Review [SPOILERS]

All right, folks. Do you like campy medical drama? Count of Monte Cristo-esque revenge plots? Insanely good looking yet batshit crazy otome characters? If so, I couldn’t recommend Issei’s route in Voltage’s Kiss of Revenge more. This route is free on Voltage’s Love365 app for a little more than two more days!

The premise of this story is really something that I’ve never quite encountered before. Long story short, MC is a young woman who’s gotten herself hired as a surgeon at the very same hospital that accidentally caused her mother’s death twelve years ago, under a fake name. This wasn’t a coincidence: girl’s been working hard to get to where she is today all this time. Her goal? Sweet, sweet revenge. She’s determined to publicly out the hospital director who killed her mother, and then kill him – but not necessarily in that order.

Enter Issei Sezaki, son of said director. Lauded as one of the “Ten Young Doctors to Change the Future of Surgery,” Issei is incredibly cold and aloof to pretty much everyone. At first, a series of misunderstandings lead MC to believe that Issei is just as corrupt and fame-driven as his father, but as time goes on, she learns that in fact, the opposite is true. The guy is single-mindedly focused on saving the lives of his patients, at the cost of everything else: sleep, social niceties, what have you. Every patient death, even those outside of his control, causes him deep sorrow and mental anguish. Over time, MC and Issei grow closer as surgical partners and through various random encounters. It becomes pretty obvious fairly early on that Issei’s developed strong feelings for MC. And it’s not like MC’s unaffected either: less than halfway through the story, their relationship begins with a romantic rooftop kiss.

But things go south, and fast. Shortly after their relationship begins, MC discovers that it was Issei, not his father, who made the critical mistake that killed her mother. Horrified and heartbroken, she nonetheless starts planning out how to murder him for his “crime”. Meanwhile, Issei sees a photo of MC’s mother, who he recognizes, and he launches a small investigation of his own on MC. Things come to a head one drunken evening, with Issei passed out, and MC ready to kill him, knife in hand…

It’s really hard to describe without spoiling everything just why I enjoyed this story so much, given how terrible every main character was, haha. MC is crazy, and her investigating skills are terrible. Issei, for all his awards and accolades, sounds like a terrible doctor (who wants someone who’s just pulled two all-nighters operating on them, anyways?!). The plot is ridiculous and the romance really came out of left field. But somehow, put together…everything works. And it’s wildly entertaining.

And there’s a lot of little things that make this story stand out. MC, for all her flaws, is a super strong character, and I absolutely adored her lies and manipulations, all in the name of revenge (not to mention, her shitty investigative skills are truly hilarious). The story passes the Bechtel test several times over – impressive, given the usual gender ratio of otome games. The alternative romance characters are all pretty fantastic (especially Irie and Junpei). And all in all, it was just was really awesome how Issei and MC’s relationship actually took a backseat to the actual drama and investigation, however silly everything was.

Overall, if you’re looking for something happy and sweet and rational, I wouldn’t recommend this story. But if you enjoy hilarious amounts of melodrama and action, this one’s for you!

Choice quotes
“Why don’t you do it? If you just swing your arm down, it’ll be over.”
“I want you to continue being a doctor, for your future. Not to atone for the past…”

Personality: 7/10. Cold, yet caring. Aloof, yet affected. Issei’s a mess of contradictions, and he’s got mental issues for days, but it’s kind of beautiful. And no matter how terrible of a doctor he appears to be, you can’t deny that he and is backstory is really entertaining.

Appearance: 10/10. This man’s looks are perfection.

MC: 10/10. Okay, look. MC’s a terrible human being. She’s manipulative, murderous, and wishy washy. But I absolutely love her and all her crazy flaws.

Plot/Payoff: 7/10. Really unconvincing romance early on, but the plot, for all its holes, is super exciting.

Personal enjoyment: 9/10. Not necessarily because of the romance. It was just a really fun read!

Do not read if you’re actually in the medical field. You’ll hate yourself.

Masterlist

SLBP: “The Ascension of the Divine Consort” Event Kenshin+Inuchiyo Review [SPOILERS]

So… I didn’t end up enjoying Part 2 of this wedding event nearly as much as Part 1. Seems par for course, for SLBP events. That said, this half was still really fun to read!

“If I make you my wife…you can’t leave me again.”

Life seems pretty idyllic for MC and Mitsunari during the opening sequence of their story. Mitsunari enjoys MC’s manju (no, not an innuendo), and both of them spend hours on end quietly reading books. It’s cute, in its own antisocial way. But their peaceful way of life is interrupted when MC is sent to Ieyasu’s castle to entertain her friends/foreign representatives Fran and Lu, on Nobunaga’s orders. Mitsunari doesn’t seem too fazed, which saddens MC. That said, when Ieyasu insults MC by calling her a kitchen whore, M doesn’t hesitate to defend his precious manju girl (“I will cut that vile tongue straight from your mouth so that none will have to suffer it running away with you again!”). In any case, I turns out to be a complete and utter asshole (surprise!), and for some nefarious unknown reason, forces MC to extend her stay. But when the castle is surprise attacked, one of his retainers uses the chaos of battle to help MC escape. She runs into the forest and miraculously reunites with a frantic Mitsunari in full on bunny war garb (“Thank all the gods you’re all right…”). He and Hideyoshi end up helping an impressively ungrateful Ieyasu out, and the story concludes with our happy couple getting married…but not before M runs away in terror over how beautiful MC looks in a bridal kimono and then confesses all his true feelings to her in an actual literal mancave.

I’m not a huge fan of Mitsunari and his socially rude behavior, but to be honest, he was pretty adorable in this route. What I didn’t appreciate so much was the fact that half the story involved Ieyasu, aka world’s largest douchecanoe. …Maybe his sole purpose was to make Mitsunari seem like a better romantic prospect by comparison? So tl;dr the Mitsunari portions were great, but the Ieyasu portion sucked.

Personal enjoyment: 6/10

“How about starting with a drink, popinjay?” “Only proper, my little tiger.”

Kenshin’s event route is a thrilling tale of unresolved sexual tension between two incredibly attractive men, and I refuse to listen to arguments to the contrary. The story begins with the Uesugi clan on the brink of war with the Takeda clan. After surveying a future battlefield with MC, his ~~beard~~ fiancée, Kenshin “coincidentally” encounters Shingen at a tavern in the nearby village (after gleefully learning that Shingen et al. will be skinny-dipping in the onsen). All the underlings are raring for a fight, but Shingen and Kenshin are all about making love and not war for the night, over a round of sake. But after S blue-balls K by leaving early, Kenshin, offended, decides that battle is indeed inevitable (“To grant the desires given me by my incredible narcissism…I’ll have to kill him”). He and his awesome and loyal retainers make war plans, with the extremely beautiful Kagetsugu volunteering to be K’s decoy should the worst happen. But their precautions prove unnecessary: on the day of battle, the Uesugi do extremely well. And when Kenshin and Shingen meet once again, it becomes very obvious just whose sword will be doing the penetrating, this time ‘round (“So, you’re finally here to really give it to me, eh, popinjay?”).

…So maybe there was some subplot with MC in this route, somewhere? Something about hair combing, a shockingly yandere-ish scene in which Kenshin asks MC to die with him, and a lovely wedding at the end of the story? I wasn’t paying too much attention to the whole romance thing between the two. Sorry.

Personal enjoyment: 8/10 (Kenshin/MC romantic enjoyment: 2/10)

 “I, uh, forgot to tell you something. …you look beautiful beyond words.”

Although there is certainly plenty of military conflict going on in Inuchiyo’s route, the main challenge presented is family drama. MC and Inuchiyo have the blessing of MC’s entire family, but things aren’t quite as simple with the Maeda clan. Toshihisa, Inuchiyo’s much older brother, does not approve of MC, because “Maeda brides should come from samurai families.” To be fair, it doesn’t seem like he approves of Inuchiyo much either. I’m missing a lot of main story context, but it seems like Inuchiyo is a bit of a prodigal son?Encouraged by MC, Inuchiyo decides to fight his next skirmish for Nobunaga under the Maeda banner, instead of the Shibata (Katsuie) banner, bringing honor and glory to the family name. Meanwhile, MC unintentionally launches a charm offensive against Toshihisa, winning him over with her tea and badass cooking skills. In the end, with Toshihisa’s blessing, Inuchiyo and MC enjoy a super adorable if somewhat hectic wedding, featuring, among other things, Nobunaga as a wedding crasher.

There wasn’t much in the way of drama or tension in this event route, but nonetheless, I enjoyed it. Some of the more shocking bits of knowledge (Keiji is his nephew?!?!?) really made me want to check out Inuchiyo’s MS. And on a really shallow note, this dude looks damn fine in his warlord gear, as well as in his wedding kimono. All in all, it was a fun read!

Personal enjoyment: 8/10

My Forged Wedding: Yamato Route Review [Spoilers]

I may have mentioned this before, but I have a real weakness for the fake marriage/relationship trope, to the point where I am willing to accept the flimsiest of excuses in the name of said trope. And the excuse provided in My Forged Wedding truly is as flimsy as it gets: long story short, MC finds herself in a new city, seeking employment opportunities from her eccentric tech entrepreneur/bartender uncle. He agrees to help…as long as she agrees to help one of his baseball buddies, all of whom require a fake wife for one reason or another.

In the end, MC picks Yamato, a teacher at an all-girls high school that only hires men if they’re married. Yamato comes across as kind of an ass in the beginning of the route (“After dating plenty of beautiful women, I’ll realize people aren’t all about looks. And I’ll lean towards a safe and relaxing woman like you”). I can’t say that his disposition really improves by the end of the route, but as the story goes on, we learn that Yamato has quite a few endearing qualities. For starters, he’s an amazing chef – had to be, because his mom was a single parent. He buys matching aprons for himself and MC at some point. And he also greets his pet Roomba, which is amazing. And hilarious.

You might be wondering why a guy like Yamato has to teach at a school that requires him to be married. We learn, as the story goes on, that Yamato is there to find/confront his father, who he has been told abandoned his mother after she became pregnant. But MC starts having doubts when a high schooler at Yamato’s school confronts her: could Yamato, who’s insanely popular at school for his good looks, have carried on a relationship with a student? Fortunately, the answer is no, but that whole sideplot was definitely rather eyebrow raising.

Overall, I thought the plot development was solid, if a little predictable/cliche. The main plot and side plots were all resolved neatly by the end of the route. In terms of personality, Yamato definitely had some great moments where he was shockingly considerate, but that blend of rudeness/arrogance isn’t totally my style, if that makes any sense. But at the end of the day, a good fake relationship story is a good fake relationship story, and this was a fun read! I have a feeling that other routes in this story might be even better 🙂

Choice quotes
“Now I have you. Even if you’re my fake wife, family is still family, right?”
“Maybe I’d be more popular with guys if I were meek and reserved.” “Who cares if you’re not popular with guys. You’re only gonna marry one guy.”
“If I were a girl, I would definitely fall in love with me.”

Personality: 5/10. Yamato wasn’t terrible, but I wasn’t a huge fan of his rude/arrogant combination. Just rude can be okay (see: Joshua Lieben), and just cocky is ok (see: IkeSen Nobunaga), but the combo can get annoying.

Appearance: 7/10. He’s pretty cute, haha.

MC: 8/10. MC actively helped facilitate plot resolution! I love it when that happens.

Plot/Payoff: 8/10. Really solid plot. I’m also relieved that Y wasn’t hooking up with a high schooler ;D

Personal enjoyment: 6/10

Masterlist

SLBP: “The Ascension of the Divine Consort” Event Shingen+Ieyasu+Hideyoshi Review [SPOILERS]

Can I just say: best event ever?? Between the dramatic drama, cheesy romance, and silly hats, SLBP’s latest wedding-based event’s got all its otome bases covered. Not to mention, there are CG rewards for finishing each route. Definitely an event worth participating in!

“From today onward, you are my wife.”

All of the routes in this event feature some sort of military plot, and Shingen’s is no exception. MC and Shingen are in the midst of planning their wedding, but there are problems: the Oda forces are on the move, and Shingen’s got his illness to worry about. Everyone’s morale is shaken when someone fires a bullet into a Takeda crest from a distance in the dead of night – it isn’t until that moment that Shingen’s retainers realize how deadly Nobunaga and his guns can be. Things get a little awkward, but Shingen levels with them, revealing his illness, and his honesty in turn rallies the troops. They execute a clever and effective secret flanking strategy that renders Nobunaga’s riflemen useless, and Shingen returns, victorious, to MC, to get married. The story ends with feasting and Shingen whisking MC away bridal style, on a classic Shingen note (“Er, where are you taking me?” “I’m going to make love to you”).

…Sounds like a pretty great synopsis, doesn’t it? Believe it or not, this was actually my least favorite route out of the three that are currently out. The military and political intrigue (not to mention, the smut levels) only gets better.

Personal enjoyment: 8/10

“Don’t you dare find ways to hurt yourself when I am not here to stop you.”

Ieyasu’s story begins with a pilgrimage to Nobunaga’s castle, for the first time ever. Which is interesting, and really highlights how historically inaccurate IkeSen is, haha. In any case, the guy’s his usual charming self during the visit, and MC’s her usual deluded self (“If you have the incredible surplus of time it takes to stick your nose where it shouldn’t be, use it to see my cup is not empty again.” That’s his way of telling me not to worry about Lord Nobunaga and see to the others, isn’t it…). But Ieyasu shockingly reveals that he’s occasionally capable of not being a total asshole in this route, and makes plans to visit Kyoto on their return journey, all because MC wants to. Unfortunately, said plans are derailed when a band of soldiers bearing Mitsuhide’s war standard attacks the traveling party, and they are forced to flee into the forest/hide in a cave. Ieyasu’s retainers understandably panic. If Nobunaga has terminated their alliance, their future is uncertain. Stuck in a dangerous situation, Ieyasu sends MC away back to Kyoto, while he deals with the problem at hand. …Let’s just say that after a bit of drama and fighting, the situation gets resolved cleanly. Ieyasu makes his way to Kyoto, and the route ends with a “surprise” wedding!

…Look. I freaking loathe Ieyasu. I am unrepentantly biased about it. But his event route was undeniably great. I loved the drama. And his hilarious band of retainers (especially the masochistic Tadakatsu). And the fact that, all assholery aside, it was clear that Ieyasu secretly really cares for MC (in this route, at least). All in all, this route was a total blast!

Personal enjoyment: 9/10

“We’ve been through so much since the day I met you…but I’m happy we made it here…together.

Poor Hideyoshi’s story is probably the darkest of the lot. Things start on a fairly lighthearted note: H has been put in charge of a military offensive, but instead of ditching MC, he wants her to come along while he temporarily switches castles. They detour to Kyoto so that he can meet MC’s fam (it’s adorable), and they even manage to sneak some quality sexy time in (“His long, deft fingers waste no time in warming me to him until I can take no more”). As Hideyoshi+staff get settled into their new castle, we are re-introduced to Lord Bessho Nagaharu, a neighboring lord who’s happy to aid H with his offensive. But their alliance sours when Hideyoshi withdraws from a battle after receiving orders from Nobunaga, leaving a castle full of innocent people to die. Disgusted, Nagaharu betrays the Oda alliance and throws in his lot with the enemy. Nobunaga orders H to starve him into surrender…but everyone finds this to be horrifying. After some encouragement from MC and his retainers, Hideyoshi eventually decides to defy orders (!) and use an alternative, more peaceful strategy. But despite his best efforts, things still end on a tragic note (“You are a kind man, Toyotomi Hideyoshi. …But, do not let my death be the thorn in your gentle heart”). In the end, Hideyoshi never does manage to come to peace with his and Nobunaga’s disagreements (“…Lord Nobunaga’s way is not the only one to Divine Rule”). But he and MC do get married in the end, in a touching and adorable scene.

This route was, imho, a tragic and angsty ball of perfection. Hideyoshi and MC had a amazing connection that clearly went past the superficial. There was so much backstory/banter between H and his retainers. And the whole thing with Nagaharu… wow. As a side note, I looked up Nagaharu’s history on Wikipedia, and this route couldn’t possibly be more historically inaccurate. Lol. But regardless, this was an amazing event route, with some Main Story-level storytelling. A+++ would read again.

Personal enjoyment: 10/10

Be My Princess Party: Joshua Lieben Route Review [SPOILERS]

“It is the husband’s duty to help out the wife when she needs it, isn’t it?”

As far as first impressions go, my impression of prince Joshua Lieben of ~~Germany~~ Dres Van couldn’t have possibly been worse. When MC meets the guy at a party (as a representative of her famous designer boss), he’s rude, condescending, and elitist AF. Honestly, I only started reading his route because I liked his hair. But you know what? By the end, I was totally on board the MC/Josh ship.

To put a long story short: this route features a fake engagement. And I am a total sucker for the fake relationship/marriage/etc trope. The premise here appropriately stupid: MC falls on Josh, their lips touch, the paparazzi goes nuts. Due to restrictive rules in Dres Van, Josh and MC either has to pony up 80M <currency>…or, they can get married. My vague understanding is that Josh could’ve totally paid the fine for himself and left MC out to dry, so maybe the fact that he consented to a fake marriage with MC already suggests that he’s a nicer guy than he appears? It’s unclear.

In any case, MC and Josh move to a cottage, and their bizarre life as an engaged couple begins. As an Oriens native, MC feels bogged down by Dres Van rules, and their “relationship” gets off to a rocky start. But as time goes on, it becomes clear that under all his porcupine quills and snootiness, Joshua is just a super sheltered, adorable, cat-hating/onigiri-loving dude. Case in point: in one of my favorite scenes in the route, MC learns that Josh has been diligently studying from a book titled A Guide to Proper Husband-Wife Relations because he has no freaking idea how to relationship. But…he tries. ❤ He also literally always has MC’s back, whether it’s to prevent her from having to give a speech before she’s ready, defending her in front of his own father, or warding off an unwanted dance partner. And even in the requisite climax of the story, when Josh breaks off their engagement in a shock move… he does it for her. I adored the consistency.

I’m not saying that Josh transforms into an Edward-style sweetheart during his route (fortunately, cause he’d be less hilarious). In fact, he remains kind of grump, up until the very end. But Josh really comes off as a man of action who cares very deeply for MC, and that, combined with his nerdiness and prickly personality, makes him a joy to read.

This route was pretty cookie cutter as far as plots go. There’s some political tension that is neatly resolved via deus ex machina, an extremely gentle love triangle, and another plot involving MC/Josh butting heads with the king over MC’s role as designer that takes a little more time to resolve. I get the distinct feeling that the writers prioritized having cute scenes featuring our star couple over crafting a fully fleshed, engaging plot. And that’s okay, because again, MC/Josh are really fun to read together.

In the end, I never did figure out why Josh was such an elitist when he met MC. It disappears really quickly in the route, and never comes back (his grumpiness, on the other hand…lol). This is the one thing that bugs me the most. But that aside, overall, I think this route was really fun to read! Much better than Edward’s route. 🙂

Choice quotes
“You’ve skipped the first book. You’re supposed to read ‘Before Entering a Marital Relationship’ first.” – Josh’s butler, to poor Josh
“Hey, you, is that frowny-looking guy supposed to be me?!” “Who else! It’s a stunning likeness, too!”
“Look, you get drunk too easily, so don’t drink too much. Oh, and be careful you don’t sleep in. Don’t think I don’t know about that nasty little habit of yours. Oh, and try not to run into anyone when you’re out. I know how you space out when something catches your eye. And…I will come for you. No matter what.”
“Hey, we don’t let drunks sleep here.” – Josh, in a transparent ploy to get MC from the sofa into his bed.

Personality: 9/10. Josh may be grumpy, but he’s a total sweetheart. Point off for unexplained elitism that magically disappeared, though!

Appearance: 8/10. I love his hair/eye color.

MC: 7/10. I generally don’t remember the MC, but I did enjoy it when she fought back against Josh’s snark!

Plot/Payoff: 7/10. The meta plot/conflict wasn’t very well done, but the premise and all the cute romantic scenes were great.

Personal enjoyment: 8/10. This was an awesome read!

Masterlist

Midnight Cinderella: “The Secrets He Keeps” Event Review [SPOILERS]

I haven’t exactly made my general dislike of MidCin MC’s internal monologuing a secret. But The Secrets He Keeps takes place almost entirely from the suitor’s perspective, and for that alone, it’s definitely really fun. 🙂

An alternate title for Albert’s story is “The Case of the Missing Quill.” Long story short, Albert misplaces a lovely quill that MC gifts him, right smack in the middle of one of MC’s state visits to Stein. Unfortunately for him, MC’s also super easy to watch Al test out the quill. Awkward. The poor guy is reluctant to tell MC for fear of making her sad, but in reality, by being so preoccupied with searching for the missing quill, he’s unable to properly enjoy their time together. Things come to a head eventually, and in the premium ending, Albert fesses up. Far from being angry, MC instead helps him search for the quill, and with the help of an old Wysterian tradition, they in fact find it under his bed. Aww. Albert reaffirms his love for her (“I love you wth all my heart”) and they make up).

I don’t know too much about Albert, but even though he didn’t behave ideally, I thought it was a cute story, with a lovely lesson about the importance of communication!

Personal enjoyment: 6.5/10

Alyn’s route is kind of crazy. It begins with a random side story featuring a missing MC, the orphanage, and a random orphan boy who shows up on MC’s balcony somehow. Also featured in this story: Alyn kabedoning MC (lol), and love advice from Sid. But the main theme of Alyn’s route is love. Or, to be more specific, Alyn’s inability to tell MC that he loves her, using words. I’ve been annoyed with Alyn ever since his terrible Ever After story, so I picked the sweet route, in which Alyn ultimately still finds himself unable to tell MC how he feels. But he has a solution in mind: “I’ll tell you with my body all the things I can’t with my words.” …Turns out MC’s pretty okay with this, haha. And so am I.

Most of Alyn’s route was nonsensical (esp. the orphan part), and I don’t understand his hangups over three stupidly simple words. But I did enjoy the almost-sex scene, fwiw!

Personal enjoyment: 5/10

MC and Giles make for an sexy forbidden love pairing in his route. To make a long story short, a maid overhears them during their usual canoodling session, and Giles is forced to step down temporarily as MC’s tutor to allay suspicions of any romantic relationship and appease the ever-annoying bureaucrats. He keeps all this to himself, but, it works. When confronted for the truth by MC, he (at least in the premium end) reveals everything, which pleases MC. What follows is a gratifying smut scene, featuring, among other things, Giles fingering MC, as well as a bunch of super sexy lines! (“Now that I’m your tutor again, I think it’s time I taught you a few new lessons.”)

I hate the bureaucrats, but Giles is absolutely wonderful in this route. He’s an incredibly attractive character. 🙂

Personal enjoyment: 7/10.

Nico’s route is a story about jealousy. Here, Nico, aka MC’s secret boyfriend/lover, has been tasked by Giles to play matchmaker for MC, by finding her some good husband prospects. Which he does, albeit unhappily – but he tries to keep his jealousy a secret from MC. MC’s none too happy about this setup as well, but for different reasons (“I know we have to hide our relationship and all, but— I thought you’d try a little harder to protest the idea of me marrying someone else”). They eventually talk it out, and the route ends with a surprisingly satisfying foreplay scene, which, tbh, I totally didn’t see coming, given how innocent looking Nico is.

I wasn’t the biggest fan of this route, mostly because I’m admittedly biased against Nico as a love interest, but also because his internal monologuing is almost as annoying as MC’s. He spends a fair amount of time angsting over whether it’s ethical to use ghost stories to get closer to MC, for example…

Personal enjoyment: 3/10