Otome Reviews

SLBP “Memories of my Summer Love” Event Review

With all those AU events that’ve been flying around, getting an event that could plausibly take place within the canon SLBP universe has been interesting in and of itself! My quick thoughts on the three characters’ stories, from least to most favorite:

Mitsuhide’s event is a bit of a hot mess. MC’s been getting irritated that Mitsuhide always puts her wishes first on dates instead of proposing things he’d also like to do. But that whole plot line kind of fizzles after M’s sent to investigate a fishing town for tax evasion by masquerading as a rough-talking fisherman (ROUTE HIGHLIGHT: “If you’re gonna bitch about it, we can go right here and now, asshole”). Turns out the fishermen have been bickering over conflicting fishing methods, and Mitsuhide saves the day by proposing a new, teamwork driven hybrid method (am I reading a kid’s TV show script or an otome game, Voltage?!). MC thirsts over his new manly tan, he propositions her Biblically (“I wish to know more of you. And I wish to have you know more of me…”), and that’s that.

So what happened to that whole dating subplot in the beginning of the ES? Why is there a random Sakuya cameo!? Overall, this route definitely had some great moments, but I didn’t love it.

Personal enjoyment: 5/10

In Kojuro’s route, the guy’s sent to a fishing town to help make sure it can be converted into a thriving foreign trading port. Just one slight problem: said town’s been overrun by vagabonds, who stifle fishing and refuse to answer to their Oshu overlords. In fact, they’re pretty rude to Kojuro, especially when it comes to MC. But instead of running the vagabonds out of town like a normal person, Kojoro decides to try negotiating. After defeating them (shirtlessly) in a “Festival of Grievances” that decides who runs the town for the following year, he gains their respect, and the vagabonds magically turn a new leaf. He and MC are able to return to Yonezawa in time to catch the tail end of an actual festival, where they proceed to scandalously make out in front of a shrine, haha.

I don’t get it. …I really don’t think vagabonds work this way! Ridiculous plot premise aside, I did enjoy a) the shirtlessness, b) the Genya-Shigezene comedy duo (“Genya, you don’t have any idea how much of a pain in the ass this is.” “That grin on your face suggests you like a little pain in the ass, Shigezane.”), and c) Kojuro’s thirst. 🙂

Personal enjoyment: 6/10

Yukimura is always kind of an idiot in his ES’s, and this one’s no exception. Here, Shingen’s turned the annual Takeda training camp into a multi-day beach party on a whim, and poor Yuki’s having none of it (he wants to train to protect MC, he says). But a brief speech from Shingen-lite old Sasuke sets our boy straight, and almost instantly, Yuki decides to enjoy his time with MC instead! …By themselves, thus derailing group activity plans that’d been made well in advance, lol. But never mind that. Our couple enjoys themselves by stealing mandarins from someone else’s tree, selling picking seashells by the seashore…and getting themselves stranded overnight on an island that only forms when the tides are high, lmao (I Googled it, my friends, and it’s a thing).

…If you said that literally nothing happened in this ES, you wouldn’t be entirely wrong. But at least our cutie-pie Yukimura learned something (“I guess I learned that…physical strength isn’t the only thing that makes a man”), and for that alone this ES was worth the read! ^_^

Personal enjoyment: 7/10

Overall, this certainly wasn’t my favorite SLBP event by a long shot, but it isn’t absolutely terrible, either! IMHO it’s a chill event, nice for people who like these characters. What did you think? 🙂

Kissed by the Baddest Bidder: Soryu Oh Route Review [SPOILERS]

otome-reviews:

“Before I left for Hong Kong, I told you you were free. But I take that back now. Stay with me forever.”

I’ve heard quite a bit about KBTBB over the last few months, so imagine my delight when Voltage made Soryu’s route free on their Love365 app (until 11:59 6/30 JST, no less)! So did this guy live up to his hype? Absolutely yes.

…The truth is, this story and I definitely got off on the wrong foot. The premise of KBTBB is pretty stupid, and super problematic for a love story. TL;DR MC works as a maid at a fancy hotel. One day, a series of unfortunate events leads MC to accidentally break a vase that’s sitting in a storage room. She’s subsequently captured and sold off in a black market auction (!!) to a bunch of rich people at the hotel. And who “buys” her, you ask? The main love interests of this story, for a cool $20M. They literally run this freaking auction. And therefore didn’t actually lose out on any money buying MC…but that doesn’t stop them from making MC pick which guy “owns” her from now on! Yikes.

So MC picks Soryu, a scary-looking, grumpy Cantonese mobster whose first act is to shirtlessly threaten MC into compliance (“If you’re good, I won’t do anything bad to you”). His preferred form of communication is taking out his gun–not a euphemism–and waving it in people’s face, lmao. And like IkeSen Kenshin, he’s none too fond of women, and weirdly sexist all at once (“Wipe that stupid look off your face. I’d never point a gun at a little girl”).

The meat of the plot features MC masquerading as Mei Ling, an ally mob boss’ friendly daughter, as bait to draw out Soryu’s enemies. ML’s in town to find a husband, so guess who has the dubious pleasure of attending endless marriage meetings on her behalf? As MC fumbles her way through chaperoned dates with high profile criminals and various kidnappings/murder attempts, she gets to know Soryu better. Turns out the guy has a obsessive fondness for MC’s omelettes (not innuendo. again), and a fairly strong sense of honor for a mafia dude – tl;dr he doesn’t like harming innocents. He’s also hilariously unused to normal civilian things, like vegetables sitting out in the open at grocery stores (so poisonable! he says).

And perhaps most importantly, it becomes clear that despite his gruffness, Soryu cares about MC a lot. He gives her a piggyback ride when she injures her ankle. He relinquishes his bed when MC has to stay over at this apartment due to shenanigans. And he willing to take a literal bullet and beating – and ultimately, face execution – all for MC.

The climax of Soryu’s plot is exactly what one would expect and want from a cheesy mafia-based route, with all the arranged marriages and shifting alliances and threatened murder and whatnot. And it is glorious. Despite – or perhaps, because of – the extremely bumpy start MC and Soryu had to their relationship, the route’s ending definitely felt earned, and had me grinning like an idiot.

At the end of the day, I still think MC’s an idiot for getting involved with a mobster. And I cannot in good consciousness recommend Soryu’s route to just anyone. Dude sets off more red flags than IkeSen Kenshin (whom I also adore…oops), and it feels a bit weird to romanticize this level of crazy. But tbh, that’s also probably why this route never failed to entertain, from beginning to end. It reminded me of the crappy, unrealistic Cantonese gangster B-movies that I used to love watching as a kid. The side characters (especially Mei Ling and Ryosuke!) were fantastic. In short, Soryu’s evolution from scary mobster to only-slightly-less-intimidating mobster-in-love was truly a delight to witness!

Choice quotes
“Do you know the best way to overcome fear? You have to overcome something even more frightening than the thing you fear.”
“You’re still a mafia princess to me, MC! And I promise to serve you forever!” – Ryosuke
“…No. I don’t hate how you smell, MC.”

Personality: 10/10 in terms of otome entertainment value. Perfect combination of cool/stoic, and secretly kind. But would he be good IRL boyfriend material? Oh hell no. Mafia shenanigans aside, it’s probably not a good idea to date a dude who calls you nothing but “woman” for over a month?? 2/10 irl.

Appearance: 10/10. 11/10?? This guy is sex on legs. Total physical perfection.

MC: 7/10. MC was pretty all right. One could argue she was too passive, but what’s a girl to do when she’s thrown into the criminal underworld?

Plot/Payoff: 9/10. After the initial super questionable beginning, this route was a giant (extremely inaccurate) mobster cliche, and I absolutely loved it.

Personal enjoyment: 9/10. A very memorable route!

Just learned that Soryu’s route is free to read again on Love365 until 10/4 JST! If you haven’t gotten the chance to read his story yet, do it!! I gave his route a 9/10 back in the day but with my nostalgia lenses on, it’s a solid 10. 😍

MidCin/IkeSen story events: a guide for semi-lazy people

MidCin/IkeSen events can be stressful. You’re 200 points short of finishing a story, your entire friends list stopped being active a week ago… it happens.

But I have good news for you! I’ve been experimenting quite a bit, and it turns out that MidCin/IkeSen events are actually really low stress as long as you’re not a completionist. This guide is for people who plan to be active throughout an entire event. If you’re one of those Day 3 ditchers…can’t help you, sorry! Haha.

The trick

It’s really simple process:

Wait until the Lucky Time midway or 2/3 through the event to start making friends/reading the stories. Until then, just shore up those Ballroom points/Glamour/whatever it’s called nowadays as much as possible. In MidCin’s last event, there were 4 Lucky Times, and I started friending/reading during the 3rd Lucky Time, about 9 or 10 days into a 14 day event.
Use the “similar friends” feature to make friends. If you’ve waited until the middleish Lucky Time to start, chances are, similar friends will be more or less as active as you for the rest of the event! This makes things really fair. I tend to like sending requests to people my score or higher by a little bit (less than 1k), and I will accept requests from people whose score is at most 500 less than mine. But you do you. Go ahead and spam those friend requests at this point – the goal is to fill your friends list as much as possible. Read stories, send out friend requests…rinse and repeat until the event is over!
(MidCin only) Don’t continue past the 1st episode of your first route until it’s Lucky Time. MidCin gives sorbets (aka 100 stamina replenishers that “melt” after a day) when you 1) enter the event, 2) reach the first checkpoint, and 3) reach the first ending decision point. You’ll want to use these sorbets during Lucky Time. You can use the first sorbet during your 2 hour long personal Lucky Time. Wait until another Lucky Time to start reading the stories, and you’ll be able to use the other 2 sorbets during a Lucky Time as well. In total, this is a 3000 point boost!

If you’ve done this right, your friends list is going to be a lot more “even.” No more worrying about inactive friends. No more wondering how many event stories you’re going to be able to finish! This strategy takes a lot of guesswork out of the equation.

(Seriously though, you’ll want to avoid accepting friend requests from people who send you requests when their score is wayy higher than yours (especially in the beginning of the event!). 90% of the time, they stop playing the event after just a few days.)

But how many points do I need to “finish” an event?

It totally depends on the event, but you can do some math and guesstimate! Let’s use MidCin’s “My Promise to You” event as an example. There are five characters, and finishing up all Premium routes takes 93750 points (in general, doing all premium routes will require 20-25k points/story, I’ve noticed). We start out with 5 friends, and by the 5th route, have 4 sets of 2 additional friends (from the 4 previous routes), so 13 friends in total. Each friend contributes 20% of their points to your score total. Assuming all your friends more or less have the same score as you, they basically add 13/5 = 2.6 times your personal score to your score total, so your total score would be 3.6 times as much as your personal score. So to get the 93750 points needed to finish all Premium routes, you need 93750/3.6 = 26,042 personal points.

Like I mentioned earlier, MidCin gives sorbets that, if used correctly, give you about 3000 free points (I also like to use the non-expiring stamina items that IkeSen give you at different checkpoints). So in reality, in MidCin’s last event, you need to do enough Ballroom Dance lessons (or use enough items) to have about 23k points.

This event lasted from 9/2 to 9/16, so 14 full days. There were 3 Lucky Times, which double the points you get, so it’s more or less the same as having the event last 14+3 = 17 days, give or take. So to reach 23k points, you’d need to generate about 23k/17=1352 points each “day”, assuming all your friends are as active as you, to get all the Premium stories in this event. Clearing out your stamina first thing in the morning, right after school/work, and right before bed, for example, would net you 1500 points/day – totally doable.

In general (aka, during the last few MidCin/IkeSen events), I’ve noticed that you’d need to successfully use up at most 15 hours’ worth of stamina points to finish all Premium event stories (using the trick I mentioned above), and all 24 hours’ worth of stamina points to finish ALL event stories (which I’ve never gunned for because I value sleep and my free time, lol). So think about how active you usually are, and that should give you an idea of how many stories you’d be able to finish using this strategy!

Overall, this strategy definitely isn’t for everyone. If you’re not consistently active the entire event, it won’t work. If you always send friend requests to people with way higher scores than you, that’ll obviously give you a higher score total (but take wayyy more time and might not be successful, and I, for one, have better things to do with said time). But if you’re like me, and you just want a low-stress way of enjoying MidCin and IkeSen events, do consider this strategy! At least personally, it’s worked great the last 5-6 events. 🙂

SLBP Masanari/Hattori Hanzo Shadow End Review [SPOILERS]

One of the many, many things I’ve always appreciated about SLBP is its willingness to go where no otome game in its right mind would want to go. And few things exemplify this more than Hanzo’s glorious clusterfuck of a route.

It’d be near impossible to review this guy properly without giving away literally ALL the gory spoilers from the end of the route, so if you haven’t read/finished the story yet, proceed with caution!

The majority of Hanzo/Masanari’s route revolves around revenge. MC goes to Hanzo for help/information regarding who burned down her village, and amused, he takes her under his wing (“You are inexperienced. I shall instruct you in the ways of many things”). He guides MC towards getting the information herself, and teaches her the traditional and well-known ninja art of…seduction, haha. (TBH the “sexiest” ninja-related tale I’d heard to date before all this was the story of the one who penetrated Kenshin’s asshole with a sword while lying in wait in his toilet…but this is Hanzo, and he’s hot, so let’s roll with it)

When MC eventually learns that Nobunaga was responsible, Hanzo fans her flames of revenge with glee. He teaches her how to blend in with the Muggles non-ninjas to allay suspicion, and helps her pass off as a talented apothecary in order to get closer to Ieyasu, and thus Nobunaga. He also offers to improve her actual ninja skills (“Obey me. If you do, I will teach you how to fight”), but sadly, that never happens. And in the meanwhile, he pets her hair. A lot.

Anyway, the night of MC’s planned assassination arrives, and thanks to her careful planning and Hanzo’s assistance, everything goes off without a hitch. …Until MC is interrupted at the very last second, by none other than Hanzo himself! MC and Hanzo’s subsequent face-off is the highlight of this route: she rages at him (with a kunai, no less), and all he can do is stand there looking sad, before whisking her away and locking her in a room somewhere before presumably going off to deal with the fallout.

(END GAME SPOILERS) If you’ve been paying attention, this should be setting off alarm bells in your head. But alas, yours truly was far too distracted by Hanzo’s pretty hair to notice. I happily read on – albeit skeptical of Hanzo’s motivations – as Hanzo returned and “explained” to MC his rationale for stopping her (“I don’t want to let you kill another person”). As he confessed his love for her (“When this battle is over, would you do me the honor of living for me and only me?”). …As he poison-stabbed Ieyasu right before the dude was going to suicidally march against Shingen, and disappeared!!

It wasn’t until MC and Hanzo had a confrontation in which he started monologuing about how everyone around him is a pawn and repeatedly poison-kunai-ing MC that I realized: this guy is insane!!! Aside from having delusions of being the puppet-master of some grand play, turns out, he is a lonely, lonely yandere. One driven by the boredom and trauma of his terrible upbringing as a ninja from the cold-hearted Iga clan. And in his Shadow End… well, let’s just say he fully embraces his nature and leave it at that. It ain’t pretty. ^_^

Given the fact that Hanzo is literally a snake, I definitely expected some sort of shady twist by the end of his route. But certainly not this one! What I felt while reading Hanzo’s ending: shock, horrified joy…and then, honestly, a bit of disappointment. Because, given the amazing way Hanzo was initially marketed, turning him into yet another yandere is kind of a waste, imho. His appeal is that he’s supposed to be unflappable and constantly planning plots within plots, after all. I just wanted him to have a masterplan that wasn’t just “move pawns around on chessboard for amusement,” yanno?

Imagine this instead: Hanzo’s stabbed Ieyasu, and in desperation, MC’s used the Dragon Tears to save Ieyasu’s life. Thus playing right into Hanzo’s hands, because all along, he’s been looking for a way to a) stop his boy Ieyasu from running off on a suicide mission, and b) manipulate MC into using the Dragon’s Tears to help the Tokugawa clan! Except now both Ieyasu and MC are absolutely furious, and Hanzo realizes that this time, his manipulations have gone too far, because he’s hurt the only two people in his life he ever cared about. We have a moment of complete honesty from Hanzo toward both Ieyasu and MC – maybe he even fights her still, cos that’s always fun – and then he saves them from some new external threat that comes along (Kansuke?? :)), and all is forgiven in a steamy and flirtatious epilogue. …Yeah, yeah, I know, so cheesy. But throw something along these lines at me, and Hanzo’s route would’ve instantly been elevated to top-tier status in my eyes.

As it was, I did thoroughly enjoy reading Hanzo’s route, don’t get me wrong. Even – maybe, especially – the wild parts. Hanzo is such a fascinating character to read, and I adore him, craziness and all. But yeah, it could’ve been *even better*. And much as I love Hanzo’s concept, this route should definitely not be taken as a template for a healthy romance! ^_^

Choice quotes:

“I shall tutor you carefully and thoroughly in whatever you desire.” Is that so.

“If you find yourself lost, you need only stay by my side for now and for always.”

Personality: 10/10 otome entertainment value, 0/10 IRL dateability. Actually, negative IRL dateability?! Hanzo thinks everyone is a pawn and life is a game. He’s a yandere, and his shadow end is creepy af. HE THROWS LIKE 3 KUNAIS AT MC OMFG. …But I still love him and his stupid flirty face, lmao

Appearance: 10/10. I feel like Hanzo is one of about a million anime guys with long white hair but hey it works.

MC: 8/10. Oh my sweet precious stupid child. Even if she was like a harmless little puppy next to all these big bad scary ninjas, I admired her fight.

Plot/Payoff: 8/10. This route is ridiculous, but so much fun to read.

Personal enjoyment: 10/10. Did I think Hanzo’s route/ending could’ve been better? Yes. But did this stop me from loving every last second of his route? No! 🙂

Masterlist

SLBP Midday Moonlight: Lifted by Love Review [SPOILERS]

Ninjas!! Once again, Voltage has outdone itself with those CG’s. 🙂

In Sakuya’s ES, the hard-working little ninja is traveling with MC to pick up some ninja weapons from a weapons master. But they’re not the only customers around – Kyoichiro’s also in town, and boy is this guy judgy (“Apparently my image of what lovers do is quite different from yours”)! He serves as the perfect foil to quiet, virginal Sakuya, lmao. So MC goes through some truly funny efforts to “seduce” Sakuya (such as almost kissing Tobimaru, his pet monkey), but fortunately this boy cottons on by the end of the route no matter which option you pick. I enjoyed both endings thoroughly – the Smitten end has one AMAZING CG, and the Frolicsome end is hilarious (“Now that, you definitely couldn’t practice with Tobimaru” – Saku, after frenching MC 😂)

Honestly, Sakuya is so hot it’s kind of stupid imho. So why does everyone seem to hate him? Maybe it’s his MS, because he was quite charming in this ES. And Kyoichiro, who I generally dislike, was absolutely hysterical as a side character (“It might be nice to make…something other than war, once in a while”)!

Personal enjoyment: 8.5/10

Wandering man-child Sasuke ends up taking care of some school-children himself alongside MC, while on a mission! He’s excellent at it, and says the absolute darnedest things (“MC’s like my wife, so I get to cause trouble for her”). MC’s pretty great herself, teaching basic medicine to the kiddos. And when the mission reaches their doorstep, metaphorically speaking (tl;dr a kid gets kidnapped!), it turns out they work together pretty fantastically as a team, despite having to split up for a while. ^_^

As with Sakuya’s route, I enjoyed both routes, but preferred the Frolicsome end, not only because of the frolicking, but also because Sasuke apologizes for keeping details of the mission from MC, like a proper mature and level-headed boyfriend (“…I kept it from you, and that was wrong, MC”). Seriously, where was this guy in 90% of his main story?! The confident, charming, flirtatious goofball presented in this ES reminds me of why I’d gone out of my way to switch to his route (from Ep. 9 Masamune…) the second it came out in the first place! Also, watching him be good with children is so super attractive, omg. 🙂

Personal enjoyment: 9.5/10

Lazy boy Genya cons MC into ~~doing his homework for him~~ helping him with a mission in his ES. The goal: to scope out the layout of a tightly guarded castle close to a remote village. Genya’s method of reconnaissance involves gambling dens and lazing about, and eventually, MC gets fed up and decides to do some scouting of her own. And fortuitously catches a thief that Gen’d been tracking this whole time, earning goodwill with the castle owners and gaining entrance! So you could say MC carried most of this mission, and I guess Genya was feeling guilty or something, because he uncharacteristically ends up doing most of the cleanup work and taking her to a festival he didn’t want to go to.

If my highly biased summary didn’t give it away, no, I didn’t super love this story. Laziness and pretending to not put in effort just isn’t attractive, imho. In terms of endings, both endings were pretty…frolicsome, haha. But in the Smitten end Genya says some off-putting things while saving her from ruffians (“Don’t put your hands on things that aren’t yours”), so I personally preferred the Frolicsome end!

Personal enjoyment: 4.5/10

IkeRev: “Say I Do” Suite 1 Event Review

IkeRev’s been out for, what, four months, and they’re already throwing a wedding event at us? Cybird sure doesn’t play around. And those CG’s… 💕

Anyway, here was my personal ranking of the stories, from least to most fave!

#4: Jonah Clemence

“Let me be the one to escort you for the rest of your life.”

Jonah’s aunt tries to set him up for an arranged marriage with a powerful Clemence ally, and instead of keeping MC in the loop about everything like a normal human being, this idiot secretly arranges a marriage proposal to MC (using a dress in lieu of a ring…), confusing the heck out of her in the process. He’s also rude to MC when she notices things, like, oh, a photo of the pretty marriage candidate (“This has nothing to do with you”). Way to go, champ. 🙄So sure, the route ends cutely, but overall I wasn’t super impressed with our ~~drama~~ queen’s communication skills in this event. That CG is A+ though. ^_^

#3 Loki Genetta

“I’ll never let you go, for the rest of your life.”

MC and Loki attend a wedding, and wedding bells start ringing in MC and Loki’s head as well. He plays house with MC, and works to win over a disapproving Seth (“I refuse to accept this creepy little cat as your boyfriend!”). And on the day of the wedding they attend, he essentially proposes to MC…by magicking a wedding dress onto her! I’m sure that wouldn’t ruffle any feathers at an IRL wedding reception, haha. It’s also implied that MC and Loki have gotten engaged after only a short period of dating. What could possibly go wrong? Then again, I’ve been told that Loki’s the yandere, and MC’s already making questionable life decisions by ditching her Earth life for a boy she’s known for only a month in every single damn route in this game, so ¯_(ツ)_/¯.

#2 Luka Clemence

“I didn’t come to rescue you because I promised to protect you. I came to rescue you because I couldn’t stand the idea of you never smiling again.”

How can a story featuring a couple who hasn’t even started dating yet be so cute?! Here, MC’s been getting harassed by a creepy baker who’s determined to marry MC (to get his hands on her baking skills), and Luka is assigned to be her bodyguard. Baker dude has a access to a shocking amount of resources considering his occupation: he’s got magic crystals, and GOONS. A lot of them! Luka gets tricked and MC gets kidnapped into a wedding hall (with guests), which does beg the question: what was the baker’s game plan?! One sentence from MC and the gig is up. But let’s roll with it – because this is all a setup for Luka to charge in like the dashing prince he is and sweep MC away. Literally.

This was a shockingly dark setup for a wedding event story, and I do wish MC fought a little more! But Luka was so sweet and precious here, omg. TBH he hadn’t really caught my eye before this event, but I am totally rethinking my opinion of him. ^_^

#1 Ray Blackwell

“I feel like I’ve been waiting for you my whole life.”

MC learns about a pretty and rare magic crystal that people in the Cradle like to find/give to their SO’s, and she decides to go hunting for it, for Ray! What she doesn’t know: usually, this crystal is used to propose. Awkward! Except, it really isn’t, because when Ray cottons on to her plans, he rushes to find the crystal and propose, himself! In the Central Quarter garden. With all of MC’s favorite foods prepared. And magical champagne glasses that produce pretty flowers when clinked! What a ~~prince~~ king – I fell in love with this guy all over again. He has such a great IRL boyfriend personality 😍. Other highlights:

The mature and level-headed way he handled MC’s “secret” crystal hunt (“If you have any problems, you know you can always talk to me.”)
Hugging his way into figuring out MC’s dress size. Sneaky!

…So that’s my personal ranking. How about yours? Let me know, I’m super curious! 💕

SLBP “Blossoms of Love, Blooms of Strife” Hideyoshi+Saizo+Inuchiyo Review [SPOILERS]

I’m about to trash 2/3 of the ES’ from this event, so I just wanted to say: I am seriously appreciating how generous Voltage is with the CG’s for SLPB. The ones from this latest event were fantastic! Especially Hideyoshi’s. 💕

Speaking of Hideyoshi. What an amazing ES! To recap, after the events of the previous event, MC’s been conscripted to work as a maid for Hideyoshi and his adorable posse (and live with them, too!). Kiyomasa’s super flirty, Masanori’s a grump, and Hideyoshi is cold/suspicious of MC (and doesn’t know how to keep a kimono on), but as we all know, they aren’t the irredeemable delinquents that the rest of the castle thinks they are. Doesn’t stop the other maids from trying to starve them, though. 😦 MC’s a champ who helps them start a vegetable garden, teaches them how to use food to the max, and covers for their rowdier adventures, and as time goes by, Hideyoshi starts to trust her too ^_^. When they’re framed for killing their garden at some point, Hideyoshi pulls the I Never Said It Was Poison trope off with great success, and the route ends with MC sharing a room with the trio for a night after ~~a convenient plot device~~ a leaky roof wrecks her own room! 😉

I have no idea what MS Hideyoshi is like, but I love how his ES’s are always so consistently awesome! This one is no exception. His evolution from suspicious to welcoming/flirty with MC is fantastic. And his retainers are hilarious. It was definitely sad to learn that Hideyoshi’s backstory involved so much bullying/starvation though. Poor guy. 😦

Personal enjoyment: 9/10

It’s all kind of downhill from here on out. MC’s still working as a temp waitress for Saizo in his route, but it’s an arrangement that he’s keen to terminate ASAP. It’s implied that he was involved with MC’s father’s death, somehow? In any case, his presence triggers memories in MC of her father (how ancient is this ninja, anyways?!). And because he’s an asshole, Saizo ~~Imperio’s~~ uses ninja magic to get MC to agree to stop working at his restaurant. Which really doesn’t work so well, because MC is totally in love and she’s persistent. So Saizo changes his mind by the end of the route, and that’s that.

As far as romance goes, this route sucked. I am pretty intrigued by that connection with MC’s dad, though. Also, small rant, but: wtf is up with these ninja skills?! In SLBP, ninjas can fight like crazy, teleport, turn invisible, cast Imperio and Stupefy, and seduce people?! Why haven’t they killed all the warlords and taken over the world yet?!

Personal enjoyment: 3.5/10

Last and very much the least, we have Inuchiyo, who wins the douchebag award of the event by a wide margin. If you recall from his prequel, he’s decided to rudely cut ties with MC for some reason (good riddance, lol). But when MC stops by his room to drop off some ohagi for Keiji, this is his reaction: (“What the hell did you think you were doing, coming here alone…do you have any idea what I could do to you?”) AND THEN HE PUSHES HER AGAINST A WALL AND STARTS NECKING HER because that’s totally what former platonic friends do with each other, right? Like…wtf?! MC isn’t nearly as pissed about this assault as she should be, and by the end of the route, she’s totally happy with him again because he helps her find the hairpin her father gave her (that she gave to Inuchiyo and he gave back to try to hurt her…!). Oh yayy wow what a hero…yeah no, fuck this guy.

The thing is, I really like Inuchiyo like 95% of the time. He’s super hot, and the grumpy/gruff childhood friend trope is so great. But between this and what I’ve heard about his main story…ugh. This isn’t sexy, Voltage!

Personal enjoyment: 0/10

IkeSen Masamune’s Birthday Event Review [SPOILERS]

Cybird definitely indulged Masamune’s cray with this latest event! Here were some of my favorite parts:

No Moon for Masamune

TL;DR the warlords prove their massive sitcom potential, and MC does her best to recreate that scene from Tangled.

Route highlights:

Sasuke’s running commentary on Yuki (“Ladies and gentlemen, I present…The Tsundere.”)
Nobunaga being a genius who instantly gets the physics behind MC’s lanterns (he’s one of my top biases for a reason 💕)
“I used to tell myself there was no point in reliving the past. But I want to remember today.”
Masamune the cunning linguist

Castle of Doom

TL;DR The Azuchi boys organize Masamune a disgustingly romantic scavenger hunt, and he displays a strong exhibitionist streak in thanks.

Route highlights:

“Does someone need chastising, MC? I usually administer the spankings around here myself.” – Hideyoshi 🤣🤣🤣
“You’re easier to read than a picture scroll.” – Mitsuhide
The unsanctioned boss fight duel with Nobunaga

I personally enjoyed both available routes, but liked No Moon for Masamune the best. It was simply funnier, haha. How about you? 🙂

SLBP “Blossoms of Love, Blooms of Strife” Mitsuhide+Kojuro+Kenshin Review [SPOILERS]

Quick recap of the prequel: MC’s been forced into working as a chef for Lord Hidemasa’s castle by the slightly sinister-seeming Mitsuhide, after being accused by his lord of reading “subversive literature.” Despite the general shittiness of her situation, she tries to make the best of things. Example: when tasked with cooking food for a festival coming up in less than a week, she utilizes literally all the resources available to her to make the event a success, and manages to corral a ton of villagers into helping her, in the process! Mitsuhide, who doesn’t believe in effort, is pissed. But of course, MC’s heart of gold wins him over in the end, and he ultimately pitches in to help her out. 🍙

Overall, I thought this story was okay, if not super memorable (kind of like Mitsuhide himself, now that I think about it…). I did appreciate how the brown-haired-villain sprite was not in fact used to denote villain status this time around. Also, Toshimitsu, aka MC’s romantic rival (???), was great.

Personal enjoyment: 6/10

Kojuro the moody teenager who thinks everything’s a chore is only slightly less hilarious this time around. MC and K have been living together (platonically) for a little while in this story, when his pervy uncle Kagechika swings by for a visit. Uncle’s take on the situation: “And here I thought that Kojuro had finally found the will to stop dipping his wick in every wax and settle down.” Lol. Anyway, with Kagechika’s help, MC realizes that Kojuro is actually a shockingly devoted dude when it comes to Date clan affairs. He just can’t be bothered with cleaning, which is very good for MC’s continued employment status. Speaking of which, Kojuro ends up hiring MC to clean his Yonezawa castle room as well. And to cook for Masamune, although one has to wonder if this was just a pretext for Kojuro to shamelessly flirt with MC in the kitchen… (“You’re the one I want at my side”) 🙂

I enjoyed this charming little story. It was nice getting a glimpse of the mature and caring Kojuro we typically see in the non-AU SLBP universe. Also, the thought of Kojuro as a reformed manwhore is just too much, lmao. 😂

Personal enjoyment: 7.5/10

Looks like MC’s getting hired to work at castles left and right, because Kenshin does some hiring as well in his ES! The guy’s still as spacey and flower-obsessed as he was in his prequel, but that’s to be expected. I’ve noted before that Kenshin seems a lot more disconnected in this AU than he typically does, and this story actually touches on that directly. We learn that in actuality, this Kenshin doesn’t like others to feel locked down (including his pet cat…), which comes across as kind of uncaring. We also learn that he’s just bad/shy with people, in general. But MC helps him, on both fronts. And by the end of the story, Kenshin’s given his pet a name (Yuroku, aka Kanetsugu’s childhood name, lol), and even outed his identity to several villagers at a local festival! Kanetsugu isn’t all too happy with MC, but I guess short little haters are gonna hate, haha. ;D

To be honest, I have a lot of trouble getting over just how damn weird SLBP Kenshin is, haha. That said, this ES was quite good, in terms of plot/character development. And I am totally digging Kenshin’s short-haired look!

Personal enjoyment: 7/10

IkeSen: Sanada Yukimura Dramatic Route Review [SPOILERS]

“Happiness to me is — you. Just you.”

Something that most of my all-time favorite characters have in common: they are all extremely high drama. Either that, or drama just happens to them all the time. So keep that in mind when reading through this summary/review… 🙂

Yukimura’s MC finds it a little harder to settle into the Sengoku lifestyle compared to, say, Hideyoshi’s MC. She first runs into Yuki after he rudely buys out the last batch of konpeito from right under her nose (she wanted it for Nobunaga, he wanted it for Shingen, lmao), but all is forgiven after he protects her from some wandering bandits. …That’s really the extent of any real conflict that happens as far as any relationship development goes. For the remainder of MC’s stay in Azuchi, it’s all fluff and cuteness, and Yuki is shockingly sweet, given his slightly grumpy nature. He takes her to a tea shop to apologize for the candy kerfuffle. And gives her a piggyback ride at some point. They babysit a kid named Yahiko together – an SLBP shoutout, perhaps?

So… it shouldn’t come as much of a surprise when the couple officially gets together (by Episode 6!!), sharing a sweet kiss at the local festival. If this route followed typical storytelling patterns, their relationship would face tons of conflict after being formed so early into the plot, right? But… that doesn’t really happen. There’s some potential for conflict after MC and Yuki realize – on the battlefield – that they’re basically enemies, but even that resolves itself super quickly (tl;dr BATTLEFIELD SEX, which is super freaking horrifying considering all the dead bodies rotting away right there, lol).

And what about the military front? Any potential for adventure dies out after Yuki forges a temporary alliance between Nobunaga and Shingen against Kennyo. In Episode EIGHT…! From there on out, there is, sadly, basically none of the unique Sengoku-style war drama that makes IkeSen so great. No kidnapping/murder attempts, no coups, nothing. There are some fun time travel shenanigans in the Dramatic ending (A Traveler’s Guide to Japan’s Hottest Warlords plays a starring role!), but that’s about it!

This route’s only saving grace is, shockingly, Yukimura himself. With such little actual plot going on, Yukimura was given plenty of opportunity to shine as a mature and sincere boyfriend! Unlike his usual portrayal in his ES’s, this version of Yukimura was communicative and heartwarmingly sweet. His desire to return to his hometown was super cute, and I did find myself cheering for his happiness by the end of the story.

But overall, imho Yukimura’s route is definitely the weakest IkeSen offering I’ve read thus far. There were major pacing issues, and there needed to be wayyy more ~~drama~~ plot conflict to drive the first like 80% of the story forward. So TL;DR, I doubt anyone reading Yuki’s route is gonna hate it, per se, but you probably won’t absolutely love it, either!

Personality: 9/10. Yuki has a fantastic A+ IRL boyfriend personality (at least in this route. Don’t get me started on his ES’s).

Appearance: 4.5/10. Poor boy is outclassed by almost everyone in the IkeSen world. …Maybe not Kennyo…

MC: 7/10. I thought MC was a little whiny in the beginning, but she was all right.

Plot/Payoff: 6/10. Although there were major pacing issues throughout most of the route, the (dramatic) ending and Yuki’s sheer cuteness saved the route from utter failure.

Personal enjoyment: 5.5/10. This route was a nice mental break after Kenshin’s insane roller coaster ride! …A little too peaceful, tbh.

Masterlist